The Meg (spoiler free review)

If there is something I enjoy the most, it’s probably watching bad horror movies on Friday night with my younger sister. These movies are so bad that they are hilarious, most of them are about sharks like: Ozark Shark, Sharknado, Ghost Shark or Jurassic Shark (and no I’m not making any of these up). Speaking about sharks sometimes I wonder what would actually happen, if some of these awful movies had a big budget, decent actors or respectable directors. Well, wonder no more, because here is The Meg to answer my stupid question.

So, one of the bald, muscle up guys from Fast and Furious (Jason Statham) plays a rescue diver, who failed to rescue all scientists on nuclear submarine. While he rescues most of them he is forced to leave behind two of them, because of a huge sea creature that caused the destruction of that submarine and he got blamed for leaving them behind. Years later he is a drunk in Thailand (we never see him drinking, but everyone in the movie say that he is) and a different team of scientists on underwater research facility, believe that bottom of the Marianas trench isn’t the bottom, that it is actually deeper. After getting through the thermal layer of hydrogen sulfide, they release Megalodon (a giant prehistoric shark).

I mentioned that I would love to see one of these bad shark movies produced by a large movie studio and The Meg is exactly that and nothing more. It has all those clichés you would expect from these movies: awful acting (Ruby Rose), evil businessmen, heroic sacrifice, violation of science and much more.

Sure, there are some qualities of this movie like: production design, CGI, possible cinematography and the actors doing their best with given material. The protagonist isn’t anything special, but he is played by an actor charismatic enough to carry on the movie. The finale is quite fun, I wish that the whole movie would have been like that.

There is a lot to criticize this movie for, like pandering to Chinese audience, bland soundtrack, jump-scares, but why would I continue? It all has been written and said before in other reviews. But there actually is something worth of criticism and that is the rating, because this movie is rated PG-13. But why when you are making a movie about a giant prehistoric killer shark? The answer is money. What does it exactly mean? Well, every time that there is some death caused by Megalodon, movie cuts to a different camera angle, so death is blocked by something or movie cuts to next scene. Also, the shark has this bizarre custom to swallow his victims whole.

So, The Meg is a very bland, boring and uninteresting movie, if this movie was R-rated I would say it’s a dumb summer blockbuster, with some fun deaths and these types of movies also have their own place in cinema. If you want to see a great shark movie, watch The Jaws (1975), if you want to see a decent shark movie watch The Shallows (2016), but stay away from this movie.

Rating: 3 / 10

Until then keep watching The Jaws!


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